I felt the LORD telling me to write down the things that HE is placing into my heart. There is so much that HE is speaking and I don't want to forget one single word of it! So I am starting a blog. Weird, I hope that I can keep up with it, I usually don't do very well with this kind of stuff.
Today the LORD put Luke 5 on my heart as we gathered as a group to pray. I read it, then read it again and again.
1 One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee,[a] great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God. 2 He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. 3 Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon,[b] its owner, to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there.
4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”
5 “Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” 6 And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! 7 A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking.
8 When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m too much of a sinner to be around you.” 9 For he was awestruck by the number of fish they had caught, as were the others with him. 10 His partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were also amazed.
Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” 11 And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.
The fish were swimming all in the same place, maybe they were listening to HIM. LORD, please let me be smarter than the fish and see YOU for ALL that YOU are! There were so many fish the boats were about to sink! It was so much blessing they could hardly contain it, and they were about to sink! Aren't I too much of a sinner to be around JESUS? Doesn't that prove that I DESPERATELY need HIM? Without HIM I am nothing! HIS Word says that I can't even breathe without HIS breath. WOW. We are going to fish for people! HIS people! What an honor!!!
Today was 13 years since my daddy died. It was really hard at first, I was really upset. I loved my daddy, still do a lot. He was a great person, we went to church on Sunday, and sometimes on Wednesday night. But I can't remember one conversation that we had about JESUS. That really scares me. When I went to church it wasn't for the right reasons. After I wallowed on that for a bit, I realized that I didn't have my eyes on JESUS. I asked HIM to forgive me and then I moved on to the living. My daddy is gone and there is nothing that I can do to change anything about him or his life. But there are other things that I can do! I can pray for my family members that still don't know JESUS. I can pray that they get to know HIM and HIS goodness! Thank YOU JESUS for showing me how to change that negative energy into positive energy! HE came for people!
The LORD reminded me today of shopping on black Friday. As we were standing outside of Target at midnight one of the ladies from the YMCA where I used to work stood in line behind me. She asked me what had been going on since I left there. I shared with her how JESUS has called us to be missionaries, we have been wrestling with HIM since late 2008, but we have been learning to be obedient now, and that we are going to missionary school in June in Mozambique, Africa. GOD had provided all that we needed to complete the remodeling of our house that we had been working on for 7 years and we had incurred no debt in finishing it. She told me that she was glad that GOD hadn't called her to do that. Well, HE literally flipped a switch inside me today. I would like to say that it is a great honor to give up everything for HIM. Nothing in this world is worth anything without HIM. HE is my everything, my reason for living. HE made me, HE placed every hair on my head, and HE will be the one to take it away! I look at it like this, I am an Israelite, and I am standing facing the Red Sea, JESUS is on the other side of the Red Sea, and all the "stuff" that has made me nice and comfortable in my life, house, 10 pairs of shoes, 14 pillows, I could go on but you get the point. That stuff is my Red Sea right now. And I have to weed through it to get closer to my JESUS. What does that look like? Right now one day at a time. Just one day. Each one beautifully made by HIM. I don't know what all of this will look like when it is done, and I really don't care, when HE is ready for us to know, HE will tell us. I really need to learn to trust HIM more, so that is what I am working on with HIM. NOT trying to figure out what HE is doing and just let HIM lead and me to walk with HIM. It is going to be an interesting journey of HIS faithfulness!
Our day of worship was so awesome, the presence of GOD was so thick! Michael was there, JESUS, YOU are the only one who can change his heart! When we were getting ready to leave tonight we saw Mama Mary. We gave her a ride to where she is staying, I sure do love that lady! She said Mr. Bennys feet were not good. I need to check on him, or see if someone from the team that he knows can check on him. She let me pray for her, I prayed that GOD would change her heart, and mine. I prayed that JESUS would renew her spirit and her mind, and mine.
We all just need more of HIM. Nothing of or in this world will make us happy, just more JESUS.
Oh, how HE makes my heart sing!
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